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Old September 29th, 2007, 10:11 AM
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My Roommate's Body Part VIII

I didn’t know where I was going – I just knew I had to get away from Big Daddy, well Alan. It was strange, though, because there was something else bothering me. I tried to concentrate and figure out what it was. I stopped in my tracks abruptly when it finally hit me. I didn’t like the way Big Daddy had treated me (which was really Sam). I knew I was still attracted to the asshole – but I had been given a view of the relationship I had never seen before. I saw how he immediately changed his focus from Sam (as Nolan) to me (as Sam) – as soon as we were introduced. It was like the old me didn’t even exist. Of course it was really me he was focusing on – wait, no it wasn’t. It was Sam’s body that had caught his attention. Did Big Daddy just want someone who was bigger than him – or, at least, built like him? That made me so angry. Why had I never noticed before how he ignored me when other better-built people were around? This question immediately made me recall times when my friends had tried to tell me – but I hadn’t listened. My need to be in a relationship with someone like Big Daddy had always blinded me to this fact. I was beginning to become angrier and a little depressed. Even with the new and improved Sam body, the old Nolan attitude was creeping back in.

“Well hello there my big Mr. Muscle god!”

I heard the voice but it didn’t register that the comment was directed to me. I realized I had walked onto the large porch that extended from the back of the house. There were only a few people scattered around – most of the crowd was in the backyard.

“Well, just because you are a beautiful specimen of manhood doesn’t give you the right to be rude, does it?”

It finally registered that the voice was addressing me. I turned and looked down to see Randall Smith in front of me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were talking to me.” I tried to smile, but I was still thinking of Big Daddy. Randall Smith was one of the “A-List” gay crowd. He owned a chain of furniture slash interior design stores across the country. He had always been cordial to me, as Nolan, but I had never been noticed like this. He was also very wealthy and this caused most people to long to be part of his entourage. I had never found him attractive or very interesting – and he always came off as a sleazy middle-aged man.

“How could someone as perfect as you not know that everyone is talking about you? My name is Randall Smith – maybe you have heard of my chain of stores called “Randall Interior Designs?” He moved in closer to me – invading my personal space – obviously thinking that owning these stores would immediately impress me. I was in no mood to be flirted with. I decided to play a role and get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

“I don’t get out much – I mostly spend time in the gym.” I forced myself to look over Randall’s head – as if I was already bored with the man. This did not deter my admirer.

“Well, Mr. Universe, it certainly shows.” He reached up and ran a finger down my arm – starting at the bicep and sliding down to the forearm. This action caused two conflicting feelings in me. I was offended that he felt he could be so forward – and that he thought he would automatically impress me. But I was also turned on by the fact that my body caused him to be so bold. I liked that my muscles created a deep feeling of lust in this man. “Anyone who spends as much time in the gym as you do is obviously screaming for attention – don’t you think? You like it when grown men come to worship your body the altar – right? I think we have a lot in common, my good friend. I have a lot of money, which brings with it much power and prestige. I have learned it can help me to get what I want. You obviously get the same benefits from having muscles that just don’t stop. Am I correct?”

His boldness, once again, insulted me – but I did like the thought that my body could bring instant control over people. His reaction to my muscles was making me hard – after all, this is what I had dreamed of for a long time. The only problem was I had never desired a person like Randall Smith. I wanted my new massive body to attract other big guys – I longed for muscle-on-muscle action. This little man in front of me – although he was turning me on – could not possibly satisfy any desires in a big guy like me. I needed to mix with my own kind! For a brief moment this thought sent me back through time – to moments when I had been treated this way by well-built guys. I felt sorry for Randall for a few seconds and saw a reflection of my old self in his lust-filled eyes. All of this evaporated quickly as he fearlessly placed his hands on my pecs and tried to squeeze my hard muscle. I saw in his face that the stone-like firmness of my chest made him want me more. His actions erased any thought of empathy and made me choose to resume my earlier role. I tightened my pec muscles and the force pushed out his fingers.

“Does the little man like what he feels?” I smiled down at him and made him gasp out loud by bouncing my pecs a few times. I saw that my reference to his size – or lack of it – stung a little, but his craving for muscle caused him to ignore my rudeness. He had even begun to breathe a little harder.

“It’s the most incredible feeling in the world. Your body is amazing. I’d like to feel more of it – see more of it.” Randall’s eyes had glazed over. He was no longer talking with me – he was talking at me. His yearning for my body had taken over all control of his own thoughts. I bent my arms at my sides slightly and made my biceps bulge. Randall’s animal instincts made his hands move to my flexed bundles of muscle and this time he moaned instead of gasping. He just stared from one bicep to the other – lost in his need for muscle. His desire prevented any filter from what he was thinking and what he was saying. It was like he talked in a random stream of consciousness – never looking up to my face. He only stared at my arms.

“I could make you a happy muscleman. You could have anything you ever wanted. I would pay you lots of money for just walking around my house nude. Oh, fuck, you have one helluva beautiful body. Let’s go to my place right now.” He then looked up into my face. “I’ll pay you to just let me worship your body. Right now. How about two thousand dollars? I’ve got to feel every inch of this perfection. I’ll let you do anything to me – really – anything.”

I don’t know what appalled me most – how pathetic he sounded or the fact that he assumed I could be bought like a piece of meat. Part of me wanted to go with him and see how far I could degrade him, but mostly I was embarrassed by his lack of respect – for himself and for me! Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered a deep understanding of his lack of control – of his desire. I could not reflect on this feeling at the moment – my need to make him want me more was too great. I liked how much he longed to feel my body. I also wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible.

“So little Randall is a big muscle pig. Isn’t that interesting. You keep your money, little man.” I tried to prevent myself from going on, but he had made me angry – and I was also taking out a lifetime of rejection on him. “You don’t have enough to satisfy this big stud. I need someone big like me – someone I don’t have to be afraid of hurting when I let go. I want someone who can equal my power – know what I mean, man? But, hey, you seem like a pretty nice guy. I should give you something to fill your dreams for a while.” I reached up and grabbed the back of Randall’s head and pulled it into the middle of my chest. I could tell he was hurt and wanted to resist my hand – but there was no way he could – my strength was too much. I shoved his face hard into my pecs and at the same time squeezed them together. His face was buried in my muscled chest. The little resistance he tried to give evaporated as he felt solid pec muscle pressing against both cheeks. He was in muscle heaven. He didn’t even care that I had just insulted him. He just wanted to feel my body – even if it meant he had to lose all personal integrity. I let my hand drop from his head – but he didn’t move. He was breathing in heavily as if he was trying to suck some of my muscles into his body. I bounced my pecs a few times and he let out a quick soft moan. I jerked my chest outward a little and sent his face back from my pecs. His eyes opened and I could tell he was disappointed. “That’s enough little man – aw now look, you’ve gone and slobbered on my shirt. I’ll send you my dry cleaning bill. Later, little muscle pig.” I turned to walk away, almost bumping into Sam who was standing on the edge of the porch steps. His face did not look happy. We walked a few steps away from Randall before he spoke.

“That was really mean, SAM.” I continued to walk away and he followed me.

“The little prick deserved it.” I didn’t even turn to talk to Sam – I just kept walking into the back yard. I was looking for Drew. I wanted to leave.

“No one deserves that kind of treatment, Nolan.” I knew Sam was really mad because he used my real name. Luckily, there was no one near us at the time.

I turned to him quickly and he ran into me. I marveled at the fact that the impact with my big body sent him flying backwards while I didn’t budge at all. Sam stumbled a little but caught himself right before he fell to the ground.

“Look, the guy thought I could be bought. He only wanted me for my body – he wasn’t even interested in getting to know me. He just wanted me to let him worship my muscles and assumed that’s the only reason I work out.”

“And isn’t that what you have always wanted? To be adored just because of your body. Didn’t you want to have men scrambling to date you just because you were big? Well, just because you have the body doesn’t mean you can be cruel to people who admire it. And you can’t treat people like that while you are in my body – it’s my reputation remember?”

“That’s fine Sam – but tell me one thing – what are you planning to do with Big Daddy while you’re in my body? I saw you practically making out with him earlier. So, it’s fine for you to do whatever you want with my body, but I don’t get the same freedom with yours? How is that fair?” I saw a panicked look streak across Sam’s face (actually my face) during my last statement. He was obviously staring at someone behind me. Before I even turned around I knew it was Drew. I turned around and saw Drew staring at both of us with a puzzled look. My mind started racing – trying to find an explanation for our discussion. How much did Drew hear? Sam, behind me, was stuttering something. I spoke before Sam could “Hey, Drew. Are you ready to go? Sam, I mean Nolan and I are.” Crap, I had to stop getting the names confused. Drew just stood there staring at us. I was desperately trying to figure out how to explain everything.

Drew finally spoke. “Okay, you guys. I know what is going on here. This is simply amazing. I cannot believe I didn’t figure it out before. It explains so much. How did this happen? You have got to explain it.”

Sam had regained some of his composure. “Explain what, Drew?”

I stepped to the side to let Sam (as Nolan) come closer to Drew. “Yeah, explain what Drew?”

Drew smiled and looked like a child who had a big secret. “You two are an item! I just walked into a little lover spat. I can always tell when two people are quarreling like lovers – and that’s exactly what it sounded like. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Nolan. I am so happy for both of you!”

I forgot who I was again. “Drew, I didn’t tell you because there is nothing to tell.” Nolan let the back of his right hand fly into my stomach. I heard a loud smack as it hit my abs – but I barely felt it.
“Ow!” Sam immediately rubbed his throbbing hand with the other. “What SAM meant to say, Drew, was that you have this all wrong. What you walked up on was a roommate fight – not a lover’s quarrel. Sam was very angry at the way I left the kitchen this morning and he kept it inside until now. We just needed to work out some roommate stuff. Both of us haven’t been ourselves lately.”

I laughed. “That’s an understatement.” Sam looked at me – but the face that had the stern look was my own face. The face I had seen in the mirror every day of my adult life.

Sam (as Nolan) turned back to Drew. “We are just friends. You know that I am attracted to people that are more outgoing than Sam. He’s got a great bod. That’s for sure, but I need more. You know that.” Drew’s face seemed to change – as if in agreement with what Sam was saying. I was not going to be beat.

“And if you didn’t know already, Drew, I need someone a lot bigger than Nolan. He has a nice body, but I need someone with much more muscle.” Even as I said it I knew I sounded very shallow. I didn’t care.

“How very honest and, yet, juvenile, Sam.” I turned to see Sam looking up at me with an angry face. I smiled back at him.

“I don’t know guys – it’s actions like those that make me think something else is going on. You two sure act like you’re together.”

“We’re not together!” Sam and I said it at the exact same time. I smiled immediately at how quickly we both wanted to deny it. I don’t think we were convincing Drew, though.

“Can we please leave guys? I have someone to meet at Jacks and Jokers.” Sam would not look at me – even though his statement caused me to turn and stare. I instantly knew the person he was going to meet. I started to say something, but Drew beat me.

“Why you little slut, Nolan. You’re going to meet Big Daddy, aren’t you? I don’t think that’s a good idea, man.” I was touched at Drew’s true concern for me – or for Sam, at that moment. I got a fresh perspective of his kindness from seeing it as a different person.

“Yes, he certainly IS a little slut isn’t he!” My words caused Sam to look at me and he did something that shocked me beyond belief. He smiled. He just looked at me and smiled. This was not the old Sam. Someone had kidnapped him! I was getting scared about how much of my personality was beginning to come out in Sam.

“Shall we go gentlemen? I have a new attitude on life. It is as if I have a whole new body that wants to go and explore.” And with that, Sam just walked away towards the front of the house. I stood there for a few minutes – floored by his new boldness. I also felt a slight twinge of jealousy – but something caused me to gasp softly. I wasn’t jealous of Sam – I was jealous of Big Daddy – he was going to be with the new Sam – who was the old me. This was getting much more confusing!
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Old September 30th, 2007, 11:16 PM
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So here's the thing -- I read the first couple chapters, and I was like "meh." But then I read this one, which was especially hot, and got excited and went back and re-read all of them from the beginning, and they are great. The narrative dichotomy is twice as much work for you, but twice as interesting for me.
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